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Futility / Spectator

by ava left

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1.
Futility 04:57
. Futility wanders afraid and alone And where we have found her no angel could know Safe as the wind blows Safe as the sea Futility’s sick of the leitmotif sound The body celestial beat into the ground Don’t sate her blowout Come set her free - You’re stepping on the sidewalk crack - But it won’t break her cul-de-sac - You wait too long, she won’t come back - From this futility attack - You take her life and make it heard - But you won’t even speak the words - You go too far, she won’t come back - From this futility attack Futility whites out the dream that once was And there in its stead lies the last reach of love Careful suspension Careless belief Futility sees what nobody has seen Her only hope left is the space in between Dots all connected And you are the key - (Closer, come closer, come close) You said it yourself Through lips of a snake You got sickness, you got health And the one thought you can’t shake ’Cause sure, you’re sitting pretty (you know what you are) In your world on the back of your hands But don’t you even try to tell me That you wouldn’t give Every life you’ve lived For a world that understands .
2.
Spectator 06:13
. It’s like looking in a mirror when I look at you Eyes so wide they lose the meaning of the color blue And all the things that I won’t say I know you do Tell me why’d I come so far tonight to see you When your back is to the door Tell me why should I believe this means a thing Oh god, I’d rather be actively ignored (There’s a place inside where nothing’s meant to be) (But it’s empty all the same) Spectator to the show Somehow you’ll never know That it was me You were welcoming Home I remember every single word you ever say Soft and fast and high and well at any time of day And all the years that people change Should mean today So why don’t they (I need you to understand ’cause if you don’t) (Then what was anything [any of me] for) Spectator, I’m alone You never could’ve known That it was me You were welcoming Home In this room Of endless sound My loudest screams All would drown And there you are The closest I’ll ever be And you won’t turn around ’Cause you’re a spectator like me (Two hours passed) (You left, then you came back) (You closed it out, we clapped) (Then I went home) .

credits

released December 20, 2022

Written by Ava Pendlebury
Produced by Brett Kull

Ava Pendlebury - vocals, piano, Mellotron, synth, tambourine
Brett Kull - acoustic guitars, electric guitars, bass guitar
Johnny Richeson - drums

Engineered by Brett Kull
Mixed by Brett Kull with Ava Pendlebury
Mastered by Brett Kull

Recorded at Catapult Sound in North Wales, PA

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