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my own backyard

by ava left

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1.
. this world is awful scary but i sometimes feel your hand sometimes you yank my collar or just yell until i stand you put me in a box and then it’s bright and loud and wrong and you shove things through my insides and on better days it takes less long this world is awful scary but you’ve got this little door you scoop out all its insides and you pour them on the floor it smells like violent nothing and i feel so sick and gone but then you let me out, and hey! my Friend’s up there! i kiss the lawn my Friend is warm and bright for me he uses up his light every night he dies sometimes he gets sick and so do i i don’t ask why this world is awful scary but at least you change the air you get it wrong a lot but i’m so good i stopped to care you do so much for me, you’re proud when i don’t bark or bite if you hadn’t been so kind i would’ve .
2.
. Late summer day You don’t have to see me to see just the way Mm, it’s cliche You don’t have to know me to know it’s cliche There goes the train to take me home - Microsoft Excel - I can use Microsoft Excel - I’m proficient in Excel - I excel Under the sky You don’t have to trace me to see that I try Umbrella high You really don’t have to watch me to understand why There goes the game My cover’s blown - (Ba ba dadadap) 10,000 people I’ve got 10,000 faces I’ve got 10,000 names and I’ve got A dozen days 10,000 answers I’ve got 10,000 memories running on 10,000 seconds and I Will stay awake The sky’s so blue it burns The drive’s so warm it hurts The voice so kind, the spoon so shined And Jeeves can read my fuckin mind But Microsoft Excel Microsoft Excel I can use Excel I excel .
3.
. Yesterday they called for six inches Tomorrow they’ll be calling four more I don’t know what this is supposed to mean When I can’t even open my door But I don’t know where I even would go ’Cause everything is blue and gray And I can’t see what I hoped it would show ’Cause everything stays this way And you might find what you’ve got in your mind ’Cause you can hear the sea But I Don’t you know it’s 5 o’clock somewhere Don’t you know that somewhere is here Haven’t you been told by the holy one That it’s gonna be better next year But I don’t know where I’m going to go Not even when it’s yellow and green And I won’t see what I need it to show When already I have seen And you might say that it’s different today ’Cause you keep track of the keys But I Step on the asphalt don’t you forget the salt Step on it don’t forget Losing direction, seek imperfection Lose it and don’t forget I won’t be only know me I won’t forget .

about

“If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than…”

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released June 2, 2023

Written by Ava Pendlebury
Produced by Brett Kull

Ava Pendlebury - vocals, keys, miscellanea (see track info)
Brett Kull - acoustic guitars, electric guitars, bass guitar
Johnny Richeson - drums

Engineered by Brett Kull
Mixed by Brett Kull with Ava Pendlebury
Mastered by Brett Kull

Recorded at Catapult Sound in North Wales, PA
Uploaded to Bandcamp from My Couch

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ava left Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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